The closer we are, the more intimate our relationship, the more important it is to check for the right manner of being and speaking with one another. So important is the manner of communicating between a husband and wife.
Today we should ask God to search our hearts and the Spirit to convict us if there is more harshness than gentleness. That first check is often on whether the content contains accusation, insult, or control.
Even if we manage to choose the right words, our flesh expresses itself in things such as tone.
I would argue that tone comes from something deeper, which is our Spirit. When we are in a battle between flesh and Spirit, when our tone is harsh and not gentle, we have succumbed to the flesh, not the Spirit.
Wives, are you expressing “the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit?”
Husbands, are you using harsh words that invoke anger?
A gentle answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Proverbs 15:1)
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair or gold jewelry or fine clothes, but from the inner disposition of your heart, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in God’s sight. (1 Peter 3:3)
Always be prepared to give a defense to everyone who asks you the reason for the hope that is in you. But respond with gentleness and respect (1 Peter 3:15)