written by
Major Tom

Dating Characteristics: Finding the Communication Trait that Matters

2 min read
The Dialogue Spectrum
My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous;
1 John 2:1
The Spirit of the Lord will rest on Him,
The spirit of wisdom and understanding,
The spirit of counsel and strength,
The spirit of knowledge and the fear of the Lord.
Isaiah 11:2
What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel.You do not have, because you do not ask.
James 4:1-2
And I heard a loud voice in heaven, saying, “Now the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God and the authority of his Christ have come, for the accuser of our brothers has been thrown down, who accuses them day and night before our God.
Revelation 12:10
  1. The communication spectrum
  2. In theory...everybody may spend time in each of the four buckets I’ll share
  3. But...for yourself...and for the person you’re dating...how much time are you spending?
  4. First for yourself: God welcomes the Advocate and the Adviser
  5. God has called out the Antagonist and the Accuser
  6. The Advocate in 1 John 2:1 is Jesus
  7. John 14:26 refers to the Holy Spirit in some translations as Helper, Advocate, and Counselor
  8. The Counselor or Advisor is closely related
  9. Advocate
  10. The Advocate encourages you to do more...may say things “you can do this” or “let’s try it” or defends you against your own negative thoughts; the advocate finds your potential and strengths and speaks life into them to stretch yourself into growth
  11. The Advisor seeks first to understand your situation, understand the problem and provide wise counsel;
  12. Now we come to the more negative ones to pay attention in your own frequency and the of the person you are dating
  13. The Antagonist opposes what you say, is opposed to the things you do, points out why it is wrong or resists your thoughts and ideas. This is the sinful source of conflict.
  14. The Accuser refers to Satan and it is calling names, finding your weakness instead of conviction in futility; demeans, degrades, creates false aspersions and assigns negative intent